(In response to Fragrances)
There aren't many things I hate in this world. I've already told you about one such thing that is on my hate list, the horse. Well today I'd like to tell you about another thing on my hate list, commercials. Commercials are to TV what herpes are to humans, an annoyance that seems to pop up at the most inopportune times. The best invention of the past decade was the DVR which gives us the ability to fast forward through those commercials that talk about the new miracle pill that has no vowels in the name and has a list of side-effects that make you seriously question why you are taking the drug in the first place.
Cure baldness with txpz! Side effects include vomiting, loss of teeth, growth of extra appendages, loss of appendages, loss of hair, blindness
Yet, despite my hatred for both horses and advertisements, one man was able to not only bring both together in an advertisement that I didn't absolutely hate, but he was able to bring them together in something I actually enjoyed! Who is this man you ask? That man is Isaiah Mustafa!
I'd let him ride me like a horse...
The fact that this delicious specimen of man brought two things together that I hate and made them enjoyable immediately made me pay attention to what he was saying. His message was simple, men shouldn't smell like ladies, they should smell like men! It's such common sense, yet here we are having to talk about it. Back in the day if you asked a man what fragrance he put on, he would look at you, slap you with the back of his hand, and demand to know why you were calling him a cross dresser. The only "fragrance" men wore back then was cigar smoke, sweat, and blood.
And occasionally dead animal...
Now I've come to accept that it is socially unacceptable for men to smell like they just rolled in mud and goat feces. The least amount of scent that is considered acceptable in this day and age is, well, no scent at all. Like I said, I'm fine with that. What I'm not fine with is this shit:
Yes, that is a website that is dedicated to perfume that has a mens section. Not only is that blasphemous enough, look at the various scents they have for men. Brit? Obsession? Grey Flannel? What the hell does that even mean? I must of missed the memo that read in order to pick up women you had to smell like an adjective.
Grammar...A new fragrance by Ralph Lauren
Now there will be people that say there is a difference between a fragrance and a perfume. Why don't we do a simple word analysis then. The definition of perfume is as follows: "Scent, often manufactured and packaged for personal use." If you look up synonyms for perfume, you know what words come up? Cologne, essence, and fragrance. Crazy! It's like theres no actual difference between perfume and cologne/fragrance/whatever you want to call it. Thats probably because, newsflash, THERE ISN'T! So if you want to be more manly by wearing a perfume, be my guest, just remember, a rose by any other name still smells like you sprayed yourself with a flowery perfume.
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